There is no ONE way!

Many people are looking for the 10 point list on how to have a great life. How to get from A to B with as little pain, trauma, and possibly effort as possible? However, one thing I have noticed after using many of these lists is this, “They all work.” That’s right every single one of these lists gave me some form of success. The success just did not last.

At first, I thought it did not last because of something I did, or did not do. Of course the answer to every problem was always me. Well, that is only half true. The answer was me, but not because I did anything wrong. As I write the word wrong, I smile as I think of my close friend Amanda pointing out to me that whenever I enter a room I immediately ask the occupants, “What’s wrong?” I assume before I even join the group that something is wrong and I am responsible for it. Where did this message come from? When did I decide that I was always a problem or a problem maker? These questions really don’t matter. To change my thinking I do not need to know where it came from, I only need to know it is not true.

Amanda did me a huge favor by telling me this was not normal, but I had to be willing to put down my offense and actually hear her. Now that I understand I have been able to change my behavior. I do not want to be someone who is forever thinking that I have done something wrong. So my list now is short: stop, pause, think. This is something that I picked up in my cousin’s 3rd to 4th grade classroom. Before you act you must decide if action is needed, and if the action you are initiating is the right action. Life Changing! Think about it. If I can stop before I say the sarcastic remark that is going to offend someone, or take a pause before I act at work and realize I am outside of my job description. I will save myself a world of trouble. I will let you know when I have grown tired of this list or it stops working. When it does….I will search for another list. “How to change your beliefs? How to be nice to yourself?” I find help in all of them. And finally I understand that there is not one way to live life. There are millions upon millions. So if one isn’t working, my advice, try another. And if you see something working for your friend and it doesn’t work for you, Who Cares!!! However, you live today changes every time you start and finish. So find a list for today that works for you, and when it doesn’t work anymore move on to the next.